Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Voice Inside a Drunk Girl's Head


Uh oh. There you are again. I warned you last time but you never listen. How many shots of Patron did you do tonight? How many cosmos and glasses of white wine did you sip until the problem started occurring? You were such a sweet intelligent girl and then BAM, all of a sudden you're Courtney Love. Your breath smells terrible as you scream and butcher the words to Rihanna's Only Girl in the World. You were cute and innocent and now all of a sudden you keep saying "mothafucka" and throwing up gang signs. Stop using the N word you aren't black. How much do you weigh? 110? You thought you were cool keeping up with the others but you obviously have to reassess your tolerance level. Oh no, don't go up on the bar please don't.....I told you you would fall. Now your knee is bleeding. You smell like perfume, hairspray, sweat, and blood. Stop pulling on that guys shirt and falling all over him. You're 24 and you need a babysitter. Nice underwear. Ok lets find your friend because she has your car keys. Wait a second, you have car keys?!?! No you are not going to be fine stop saying that. Where is your phone? Great... its dead. Who did you come here with? You really forgot all of your friend's names? I can tell they really care about you by letting you tweek out in corner like this. Wow, you just puked. I feel bad for that guy with the baggy jeans and button down over there who's about to make out with you. Oh no, this is an actually really important person to know and you're slurring all of your words and telling stories that don't even make sense. Can't you see that he's forcing a smile and trying to get his friend to pull him away from you?! You are actually a beautiful girl, but your intoxication is very unflattering. I understand you want to go out and have fun but you are turning into that girl that no one wants to go out with. Who is this guy you are getting in a cab with?! Can you hear me at all any more? Your mind is now black like the ending of the Sopranos. You are not even going to learn from this experience because you need to remember your mistakes in order to learn from them. Tomorrow you are going to reek of cigarettes, Jim's cologne, latex, and regret. One day you will listen to me. I'm done now. See you next weekend.

100 comments:

  1. LMAO. Patron = turns housewives (housewife material) into whores. ;) Too funny.

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  2. not very lady like at all.. lol

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  3. Dam, impressive. You are a pretty good writer!

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  4. Wow, I actually enjoyed this. You might possibly be my new Alexi Wasser, actually you probably come in a close second.

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  5. sounds like ur talking about snooks...

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  6. wow Vinny you're a great writer!! <3

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  7. I really like your writing...it is thoughtful and artistic..I always knew you were the smart one of the bunch...smart is sexy!! :)

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  8. Wow, you have impressed me yet again. Where is all this coming from? I'm not a party girl in slightest, but I can assure you that if I am ever in a situation where potential intoxiation could take place, these words will be running through my mind!

    Oh Vinny :)

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  9. I agree BUT you should also think that it makes a guy seem unflattering as well when he does the things that you've mentioned above. :)You guys just criticize girls who have fun a bit too hard sometimes but guys do it way more often and it just make you seem like big dumb jerks... That's my point of view.

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  10. I'm glad you made this blog it really allowed your fans to see another side of you. You're an amazing writer. Keep it up. :]]

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  11. Hahahaha....best thing ever!! Also ...sad but very true man.

    I've never been to that level of ...sad gross intoxication before but if I ever was to, that's some of the things I'd be doing.

    Ps- Deena falling off the stage at one point in season3? reminded me of the underwear part hahaha

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  12. Unfortunately alcohol is like "skank" courage for some females, just like it is liquid courage for some guys. Great post, very blunt!

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  13. Instead of the 'The Voice Inside a Drunk Girl's Head.' it should have been 'The Voice inside Drunk Deena!' HAHAHA. "Hipposloppotomas!"

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  14. Thank you so much for this post. You are so right and so insightful. Amazing! :)

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  15. I agree with you. I went to see Swollen Members Saturday night, I had VIP tickets, my night was going good, my friends and I were up front at the stage when they performed. We were having a great time until this extremely drunk chick decided to grab Prevail's package. Like, "Are you kidding me?" She couldn't control herself enough to be decent. That's just an example.
    Guys are just as bad, or worse, when it comes to the clubs. When they spy out a girl & are too intoxicated to speak right, they slur their words, say things they shouldn't, yeah... that's real attractive.

    Great blogs Vinny. You're keeping them interesting!

    Again, please follow me? @kayla1218 It would make my LIFE, seeing as I couldn't get to Dusk, downtown St. John's, to see you.

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  16. Thats pretty legit Vin. You could begin a series of "Inside the head of...."

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  17. I have to say that this is a unique attempt at creative writing for sure. I agree, it can also be just as unattractive when men become this slobbish, but girls can tend to over-do it. Also, it isn't as frowned on upon for men to have multiple random hook ups, whereas for girls it is horribly frowned upon sooo... putting it from the girls perspective is more valid because quite frankly, women should have more respect for their bodies and not train wreck it on the weekend...

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  18. Oh damn... That's really excellent. Thanks Vin.

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  19. omgg thats my friend natalie! wtfff where did you even get this picturee

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  20. Sounds about right.. Been there. You become a totally different person :-P

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  21. Deep!! I want to read more!!
    a Writter , YES YOU ARE !!

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  22. you are a sick writer ! that was so good, made me think and laugh
    love you !

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  23. lol vinny ur too much u sound like u been hanging with me on satursday at platforms....one of the girls who comes with my bestie is that way!!! i love to hear the way u think and im not gonna say i love u because i dont know u but i love ur swag!!!! one day we will meet somewhere....waiting!!!!

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  24. WOW I really loved that... it's so true. I like the point of view too, it's very eye opening. xo

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  25. yeaaah... sucha shame, yet so true.

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  26. Vinny, I think it's awesome you have far more to say than beyond the show, the interviews, etc. You are a strong writer too.

    Keep Blogging, and I'm confident you're audience will grow and respect what you have to say -- It's witty, humorous, truthful, and eloquently written.

    Keep rocking those posts out. You're great.:-)

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  27. i'm impressed, vin. all of this is unfortunately so very true. you're an awesome writer.. #sexy #turnon

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  28. Wow. It's funny how people can underestimate potential based on things like edited 'reality' tv shows. You are a very smart young man. Keep it up Vin ;)

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  30. this is sad...because its too true

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  31. You're sexy and you have a brain! ;) I admit it looks bad when a girl gets to that point-- it's really not appealing at all-- but why the double standard? Men get away with so much. Not fair!

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  32. Hahahh I love it!!! You're a really good writer vincenzo! <3

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  33. This made me laugh a couple different times. Us poor girls cant always handle our liquor. & you described it very well. I've seen this girl & sad to say been this girl. But you gotta learn from your mistakes...

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  34. "Nice underwear"... Made me LMAO! I can just hear someone reading this out loud while watching that TRAIN WRECK from across the bar! Kudos! lol

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  35. "You were cute and innocent and now all of a sudden you keep saying "mothafucka" and throwing up gang signs. Stop using the N word you aren't black." LMAO too funny!! but theirs nothing wrong with a cute and innocent girl showing a little bit of bad every now and then.

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  36. Oh Vin, you are incredible. Words could not even describe you or your abilities. (:

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  37. There is nothing worse than a drunk woman...that's why i don't drink....good job Vin :)

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  38. That was quite a good reading, I enjoyed that.
    It's pretty sad how some girls are ;\

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  39. You mentioned latex and regret. Kinda makes me feel like your setting a double standard, no I don't know you in real life but I don't miss episodes, and id say you have gotten your fair share of one night stands....but the pic is hilarious and SUPER embarrassing. Great writing once again.

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  40. Wow...there is more to you than i thought mr Guadagnino :)

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  41. Geeze, I think I went to college with that girl. Thankfully I've never EVER been that girl.
    Your writing is pretty good. Kudos.

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  42. When you see it written out like this, you kind of know what other people think of you...I know when I see "that" girl I'm like, 'seriously, can't you control yourself.' I'm so thankful for friends who keep me in check.

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  43. Hey, love you on the show, & I might just start a blog b/c of u (i have alot of usless opinions too :) ), but what about what goes on in guys heads when they are drunk?? And how did you come up w this?? I dont think u were ever a drunk girl. I was. I have been a drunk woman & a drunk mother too. LOL. Yes, I said all of those things. But why not blog bout what BOYS think when they are drunk. We both know why, dont we?? "Goota get laid" is only three words. :)

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  44. "Stop using the N word you aren't black" hahaha love this post. 100% true. Come to Philly again Vinny, you're hilarious.

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  45. FYI: I started a blog too. I am not a reality star, but I am a Bronx born part silician italian american. If you would like to see what Nicole, Deena, & even Jenny might become in 10 yrs, check it out. I watch the show every week, and it brings me back. We all grow up, (but the Patrone comes with us!)

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  46. haha, very descriptive...i felt like i was there! hahaha

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  47. VINNY! In my mind, I threw a sick ass beat you'd find in an Eminem song in while I read this and it was badass. You've got some talent!! Please post more often, I love hearing what you have to say! oh and my Twitter is @sabrinastamper <3

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  48. So... You have different skills refreshing... Now what I don't get is how a guy that is supposed to be this party monster doesn't agree with girls getting plastered... interesting.

    Girls take notice, just because you go out doesn't mean you have to be drunk all the time.. Boys take note and look at other things in girls...

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  49. You know what's sad bout this Vinny ? Some of the chicks reading this won't recognize it's them that acts like this. Step it up ladies, represent yourself well.

    Like what you're doing. Stay at it.

    @mrcdesigner

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  50. It appears clear to me that you're a guy with a healthy and strong opinions, it is something that I really like about people in general. You write really good Vinny and I hope that you will achieve your dreams in life. After viewing jersey shore, you are the person who absolutely stands out most, in a good way! I fell for your integrity in who you are and you stood up for what u believe in. It makes me happy to see that there are men like you =)
    love, love, love // Sofia from Sweden

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  51. Wow! I'm definitely impressed with your skills! Keep 'em coming!!!
    <3,
    Lou

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  52. I read one and i was HOOKED! now im going to be anxiously waiting for the next, just like a new episode of JS! totally makes us see you in a different light! hope to see lots more :) Love Patty From Oregon. <3

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  53. LMAO.. That was hilarious! I have lots of friends who have been that girl at one point or another..

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  54. I am suprpised and also impressed by your blog, I will definitley be reading it from now on. However I have to say, as much as I agree and like this post, aren't you the one whose at the club looking for girls who are 'D.T.F' and have the exact attitude that you talk about in this post?

    You cannot look down look down or judge something and then think it is okay if and when it suits you.

    Just Saying!

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  55. ha! i really enjoyed reading this, i can honestly say i have been there and regreted it the next day.... now a days i still love dancing and have some drinks but i know my limit now!...... and for guys its the exact same way....i use to think ronnie was a hottie.. but then the way he was acting when he got drunk was disgusting and a super big turn off.... he just looked sloppy. and mike is also gross too.. the way he checks out girls like he is a old pervert and he is really forceful, like pushing himself on girls.... its sick....LOL..... but this was really good reading and true.... the tittled could have been "the drunk girl, through the eyes of vinny..haha just joking yah! its all good.... keep on writing your really good at it.

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  56. Vinny from a Rican Bronxter: You Rock! Now if you not talking about Dina, then u must be talking about one of those birdies in Karma...or maybe the girl in the picture. lol Or maybe you met me when Iwas sixteen? Nah, u were in elementary school...maybe junior high. who knows! lol

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  57. This is completely priceless, and completely surprising, in a good way. :)

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  58. this is great and i like the way it flowed, if that's even the right word :)

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  59. I got an account just so I can comment on this. Hopefully you'll read it. Your words are highly opposite of what I would think. After all the quietness on Jersey shore, it is probably cause there is so much going through your head.

    Perfectly said.. and I must say i'm guilty as charged with this crime.

    great seeing you at Rain this weekend :) absolutely love you moreee!

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  60. It's too bad you've seen 'this girl' so often to have such a recount.
    Great piece of writing.

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  61. "Your mind is now black like the ending of the Sopranos,"--- haha, amazing, i love it.

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  62. man, I'm really glad someone wrote this. I hate when I see people I know ending up like this, beyond reason- ruining their reputations, doing things that will make it so hard for people to take them serious in the future.

    Please remember to be a lady!

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  63. Sad but true, and it sounds like you know this girl on another level... If you know this girl(I could be wrong) hopefully your telling her what you think of her actions, as or before she's doing them... This could really help a lot of foolish people. Ur a sweet heart vin.

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  64. Awww..
    very well put and said .. much respect

    and LOL to the only girl in the world part i hate when chicks are like that at the bar

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  65. You should make short films about your blogs.

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  66. This is so real and true.... Nobody wants to be this girl or know this girl for that matter. Girls need to learn to keep in under control and realize that NO man thinks this is hot.

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  67. Wow, you left me almost speechless. Your intelligent and have a Very strong opinion, and u do have a point, a female that drunk is not attractive nor lady like but sometimes they do it too seek attention. But great blogs, its good too know u can express yourself too the people that love you. Keep doing what ur doing and stay strong, u have the power too achieve ur dreams. :) much love

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  68. you are going to go far in life. i love reading your blogs, keep it up! (:

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  69. pamelatiffany @ twitter

    you are definetley one of those people whose thoughts I can read for houurrrsss. You have an interesting outlook & so far Im reallly liking your blog Vin :p

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  70. vinny! your soo funny & i think you are a GREAT writer. i loveee youu! andd i love you blogs. hit me upp sometime. drakelover247 @ twitter

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  71. Excited that you also an awesome writer! This essay should be handed out to ALL girls when they get to high school so they see its not cute to get to that point!

    Can't wait to read more!

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  72. I love the picture of the drunk girl lol.
    Happens all the time here at school. If you ever come to Ohio please make a stop at the University of Dayton, we love to watch Jersey Shore, pregame to Jersey Shore, then parrrrttttty!!! We go so fucking hard here lol.

    I'm thinking about making a blog too. Me and my friends have a flabongo named Fred. I want to write about all the places we been to party and post pics of us and Fred lol.

    HindaBinda @ twitter

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    1. Please disregard...Hinda Abdullahi did not write this.

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  73. I love your blog Vinny! Keep it up(=

    This is my blog http://tohellwithpoetry.blogspot.com/

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  74. A lot of girls should not just read this. They should acknowledge every word.

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  75. Excellent blog Vinny. I am amazed on a daily basis, just how quickly girls get hammered in clubs. I have been a go-go dancer for about 6 years and have seen girls get so ridiculously trashed. I can only imagine that if they drink like this during "office" hours, what are their lives like outside of work? What must their fridge look like? Do I want a Vodka pop...Ummm, no thanks!
    I know a lot of girls who can only work once they've been drinking, as it makes them forget just how unattractive the guy they are sitting next to is. Others, like me try and steer clear of the poison juice so we don't turn in to ho's when our moral compasses are effected by alcohol.
    What I don't understand is this: If a girl is going out to meet people and mingle wouldn't she want to actually remember what and whom she met/did? Do these girls who go out and "drink guys under the table" really think they look good...or are impressing guys? I have seen guys laughing at girls like this, right to her face...and she just laughs along with them..because she doesn't know any better. It's kinda sad, really.

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  76. AMAZING!! Couldn't put it in better words.

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  78. Your dealing with what you call SHEEEPS

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  79. sooo good!! im gonna think twice next time I go out. I know some of my friends think this about me when i get to drunk and sometimes i think this myself, but this is fantastic. I hope whoever you wrote this about knows its about them :) maybe they'd think twice too.

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  80. I love your writing. Just another example of how fantastically awesome you REALly are. Thank you for starting this blog. Can't wait for more.

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  81. at least her boots match the trash can!!!
    cbryant!

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  82. You are an amazing writer. i think everyone has a friend like this. I love how your writing is so honest and able to be related to!!!

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  83. Well said!! It is hard when you see this happening in clubs and can't do anything about it!! :) Much love and respect man!!

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  84. i was that girl. . . whew! good thing I'm all grown up now. And it's SO true that you can't learn from mistakes you don't remember!!!!!!!!!!
    Once you have as many DUIs, PIs, bruises and scars as I do, only then will you learn something!!
    I see you guys going through the same motions as I once did. It hurts me, especially seeing snooki and how she's always looking for "something." We drink for many reasons, but the worst reason to drink, is because of loneliness, or unhappiness. Once she finds that special person, I KNOW she won't need to drink as much, and neither will you Vin. =c/ You guys stick together - take care of your bodies, and each other. . .you won't be young forever :c)

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  85. lol. for all of you that think he's talking about snooki, he's not because snooki is 23, and he's not talking about deena either, she's 23. but this is very deep, and very sad. girls these days are just so out of control with themselves, it's unreal.

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  86. I feel this way about one of my friends all the time. I always think it's a good idea to go out with her, then I end up babysitting her while she's falling on the floor drunk, making out with 15 guys in a night that she just met. And forget making plans with her because she drinks whiskey out of the bottle before she goes, so by the time she gets to where she is supposed to meet you, she forgot how to answer her phone or text messages so you can find each other. Really pretty girl - but such a mess! It makes me feel like I need to always be the responsible one and not have as much fun as I planned because I have to watch to make sure someone else doesn't get in trouble.

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  87. Wow i love your posts. Really good writer. Everyone should listen to the voice inside their head

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  88. Rebekah Bergeron TailleferSeptember 11, 2011 at 8:50 AM

    Loooove it. You're not even a girl but yet you describe it so perfectly. Love that you're a writter. :)

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