Inadequate - Part I

His name was Gabe and all he ever wanted to do was fit in. Gabe was a 17 year old senior in high school and was not the most popular kid in school by a long shot, but also wasn't the least popular. He had just enough credibility where it earned him a seat at the "cool" table in the cafeteria. Gabe was at the age where almost every topic of his conversations with other students revolved around sex. You see, Gabe was the only one (supposedly) who was still a virgin and he had to listen to the other boys constantly bragging about their crazy sexual experiences. This upset him due mostly to the fact that he could not engage in the conversations without making up lies about his own experiences. The others knew that Gabe was lying and would constantly bully him about not hooking up with any girls. This made him constantly worried about not fitting in with the others. Gabe felt inadequate, not cool, and alone.

One Friday Gabe lands an invite to a keg party. Because he can not fit in with his "friends" by being a ladies man, Gabe experiments with weed and alcohol so that he can seem cool. He mostly fakes inhaling and doesn't drink that much but nonetheless Gabe is making some headway with fitting in at the party.  He sees a girl that he's known since kindergarten named Christina. She is very pretty and speaks to him because of their pre-established relationship. Christina is wasted and at the end of the night needs to be walked home by Gabe. When they get to the house she invites him in and Christina is DTF. Gabe is extremely nervous. "I'm not prepared for this" he thought..."What if I fail, I don't know what to do." But Christina's buzz is wearing off and she jumps on top of him. From general knowledge Gabe takes the general steps to having sex. (Removes his pants, her pants, and starts childishly making out.) Christina has a condom ready and hands it to Gabe (she's done this before.) He has never put one on and is so nervous he is actually shaking. He can't get it up. She is waiting anxiously and asks him whats wrong. Gabe is discouraged, throws his clothes on and storms out of the house. He walks home embarrassed and ashamed.

It is now Monday and all of Gabe's friends bombard him with questions about what went down with Christina. Gabe has to embarrassingly respond by saying he did not have sex with her. "It just didn't happen" he cowardly responded. The other boys figured what went down and continued to laugh and bully him like never before. To make things worse, Christina told the story to her girlfriends and they were bullying him as well. As Gabe walked through the hallways he would get snooty looks and would hear constant chuckles behind his back. He is depressed and ashamed. Gabe never wants to return to school again.

Some of Gabes older cousins learn of what is happening in school and they offer advice. They tell Gabe that these sort of things happen to everyone and when the opportunity is supposed to happen it will. One of Gabe's more sleazy cousins, Mike,  tells him to pop a viagra next time he has sex so that he can get over the initial bang without any problems. That weekend there was a bachelor party being thrown for one of Gabe's cousins. Gabe could not go to the nightclub part of the party but the guys invited him to the hotel part where strippers were putting on a private show. Sleazy Mike pays one of the strippers one thousand dollars to have sex with Gabe. Gabe has been drinking alcohol the entire night and takes a viagra. Gabe is alone in the hotel room with the stripper, his heart starts racing and he gets an intense headache. He feels weak and starts hyperventilating. His cousins run in the room and try to nurse him to health but he passes out. The next day Gabe wakes up in the hospital and realized that he had some adverse effect from the alcohol and viagra. One can only imagine how sad Gabe feels right now. He actually gives up on having sex, stops speaking to his friends in school, concentrates more on academics, and finishes his high school year a virgin.

A few months later Gabe is off to college. His first day there he moves into his dorm room and is already making tons of friends. Flyers are being passed around for a beginning of the year party. Gabe goes to the party and has the time of his life. It is a clean slate and no one passes judgement on each other. This makes Gabe feel more confident and he ends up picking up a sophomore sorority chick named Sarah. The cool college dudes are giving Gabe the thumbs up (Sarah is good to go and likes to have sex...with everyone) They both share the same housing unit so going back to her room at the end of the night was not a problem. They are both wasted and start hooking up as soon as they get in the room. Gabe quickly thinks to himself to take a viagra before he puts on his condom but it is too late now and Gabe doesn't have the best experience with the drug. Gabe has sex with Sarah with no condom or viagra because his moment had finally arrived and he didn't want ANYTHING getting in his way of finally having sex. Gabe lasts five minutes but feels accomplished that he finally lost his virginity.

The next month of college was great for Gabe. He was getting good grades, making new friends, and enjoying his independence from home. One day Gabe gets a text from Sarah telling him she was late on her period. Her pregnancy test comes up positive. In this moment, Gabe feels like his world has closed in on him. Never has he wished so much that he can go back to his senior year in high school and be the nerd who got made fun of everyday for not being able to have sex.......